The Three of Us

Off the Couch

Thanh and I both made it through a school day today.  We are tired, but up and walking around.  Thanh's teacher said she wasn't herself still though.  She did choose to play this evening rather than sit on the couch and watch tv, which was what I was planning on.  M is still working from home.  She was planning to do an overnight volunteer shift tomorrow night and someone just called to offer to take her place.  M accepted her offer.  I think it is important that we all get as much rest as possible as we recover from the dreaded H1N1.

H1N1 Day 6

Day 6 of the flu and Thanh's fever keeps coming back.  She woke up at 2:30 am with a 103.5 temperature.  Today it has been normal, but that is with motrin and tylenol.  We took her back to the doctor's this morning.  I was getting worried because her face was twitching and I started to worry that she was having a side-effect from the fever.  At the office we were able to determine that it is voluntary because she would twitch and then I would spin her around to show the doctor and she would relax her face.  I called my mom and she said, "It was just drama!"  Pretty much.  But I'd rather check than have my kid's face freezing up without me knowing it.  I am feeling better.  M is achy.  I am filling my afternoon by doing some online holiday shopping and baking some muffins.  It is the first time I"ve felt motivated to do anything since Saturday evening when I felt sick.  Eventually I'll return to work, but probably not soon.

Rescued

Saturday 8:30 am - M takes Thanh to the doctor

Saturday 11:00 am - M and Thanh return from the doctor's with a diagnosis of H1N1.  The doctor thinks Thanh is getting better because she doesn't have a fever anymore.

Saturday 12:00 pm - I encourage M to go on her business trip.  "We'll be fine! My mom is coming tomorrow to help out."  M leaves, reluctantly.

Saturday 6:00 pm - Thanh wakes up from nap with a fever.  "I want my other mommy to give me the medicine!"  Great.

Saturday 7:00 pm - I text M:  "I feel achy."

Saturday 8:00 pm- I leave M a voice mail message:  "blah blah blah achy...blah blah blah can't get off of the couch."

Sunday 2:30 am - Thanh's fever is 101.  It takes 45 minutes for me to get her to take her medicine.  I call M for support, who says that she is getting on a plane in a few hours.  She told my mom to stay home so she won't get sick too.

Sunday 9:00 am - M arrives home to take care of us.

Flu

Thanh's pediatrician thinks she has H1N1.  She is better today though.  Her fever broke and she has more energy.  In fact, I had trouble getting her to nap because she hadn't had enough movement opportunities.  I put her in the car and drove around until she fell asleep, just like old times.

Fever

Thanh woke up with a fever on Thursday.  M stayed home with her yesterday and today.  Her fever was 104 when I got home from work today.  It went down to 101 with meds, but now it is 103 again.  Overall Thanh is herself, just sick (unlike other times when she has been really really sick.)  I would like to call the doctor and check in tomorrow though, just in case.  M is going on a business trip tomorrow.  My mom is coming to help Sunday-Friday.  Hopefully my sweet girl will feel better in the morning.

The Next Stage

I received Thanh's evaluation results with relief.  M and I felt pretty positive about the results, in general, with a few surprises thrown in.  We felt happy that Occupational Therapy could start soon, and that we would get some support for her needs.  My response was all about moving forward and feeling hopeful.

Sunday night I had a phone meeting with the Occupational Therapist.  It was a very helpful conversation, and she really clarified some things.  That conversation, however, lead me to a new stage in understanding that my child has a sensory disorder.  I would say that I am in the grieving stage.  I feel that is safe to say since I have been walking around crying.

Here's the big thing that got me:  Thanh's early life experiences lead her to this disorder.  That wasn't news to me.  We new that she would be at risk before we even recieved the referral for her adoption.  However, the therapist had some specific links to share that really shook me.  Thanh is quite delayed in visual-motor skills, which is basically the ability to copy designs, such as a horizontal line.  The therapist explained that many children from orphanage care who don't have their nutritional needs met have this type of delay.  At that moment, and at many moments since then, I pictured a hungry baby Thanh, whose brain could not develop the way it needed to because she didn't have enough to eat.  That is a horrible image to have about your kid.  When discussing fine-motor, which is not such a major concern, but needs to be monitored, the therapist talked about the position of her thumb.  She talked about how Thanh most likely was an early walker (rather than someone who spent a long time crawling) and how often times kids in survival environments need to learn to walk as early as possible.  I know Thanh lived in a survival environment, but again, something about how that is now harming her over 2 years later really got me. 

I have been farily matter-of-fact about Thanh's early environment, but now I am sad for her.  I wish she could have had more nutritional food to eat, and time to crawl and walk at the right pace, appropriate amounts of holding and rocking, and lots of diferent touch experiences. 

On top of my layer of sadness, I feel frustrated that Thanh's teachers, whom I generally trust, are not on board with her diagnosis.  I am going to have to work hard to be her advocate. 

Occupational therapy starts next Wednesday.  We have a confernece with Thanh's teachers on Thursday. 

Happy Halloween

We had a party on Saturday morning for Thanh's school friends.  We invited her whole class, but five kids came, which was a great size.  We had a backyard party planned, but it was pretty wet and rainy out, so we switched gears.  We were so busy last week trying to get ready, but it all came together.  M set up a spooky spider cave in the living room using the fake spider webbing and a bunch of furniture, fort-style.  We put black and orange blankets in there, stuffed animals, and Halloween books.  The original idea was to put spider webs on the trampoline and play a Halloween game on there.  This worked though.  In the kitchen we had glitter pumpkins.  In the dining room we had Halloween stamps and bags so the kids could make trick-or-treat bags.  Of course the kids mostly liked playing with the toys and Thanh's dress-up stuff.  We served pumpkin muffins, apples, and cider.  Last week Thanh and M asked 4 neighbors if we could trick-or-treat at 11:30.  M gave them trinkets (spider rings, pencils, etc.)  The ground was really wet, but it had stopped raining, so we were still able to go.  That was the hit of the party.  The kids loved it, and walked down our street hand in hand.  One neighbor we hadn't spoken to saw the group and insisted we come to her house too, so the kids even got a piece of candy from her!  Thanh would not wear the fairy outfit because it felt scratchy.  She wore Halloween pajamas.  I wore my Cruella de Ville outfit and M was Malefocent from Sleeeping Beauty.

 
 After a nap, we headed over to our friends K and M's house for trick-or-treating.  What started as a small group ended up a very large group.  We ended up splitting up and letting the little ones trick-or-treat in one group and the 8 year olds and up trick-or-treat in another group.  We could keep track of the kids a lot easier and they could go at their own pace.  The kids had such a good time.  Thanh walked most of the way (without insisting on being carried) which shows how comfortable she felt with her friends.  She wore a purple leotard as her fairy costume for the nightime trick-or-treating.

 
 

An Envelope in the Mail

Thanh's report came back.  Part of me was worried that it would say something like, "The parent is convinced the child has a disability that she shows no signs of.  The mom needs therapy, not the child."  This is not the case.  Thanh has the strongest difficulties in the areas of auditory processing and touch processing and some difficulties with vestibular processing (her need to move,be upside down, etc.) and multisensory processing (not exactly sure what that is yet).  They are concerned about her visual-motor skills, which are separate from her fine-motor skills, although her fine-motor skills also need some improvement.  They are recommending weekly occupational therapy, which I was expecting, and a complete auditory processing evaluation, which I am surprised by.  Of note is that M has major auditory processing issues.  I joked to M that it is as if Thanh is her biological child.  Here she is with the same issue.  Sigh.  The list of goals are a lot about the motor skills, which is interesting because that was not my main concern going in.  It seems I have a lot more reading to do!

I will not go into great detail here, but my friend's husband died on Saturday.  It was unexpected and tragic.  We were at the memorial tonight.  It has been a very emotional week.

Baking Cookies

Day 3 of M's business trip and Thanh and I are doing great.

Day 1 - Dance class went really well.  Thanh happily put on the dance outfit, saying, "I like to wear this when I go to dance class every week."  - as if she doesn't usually cry and kick as we struggle to put the tights on her.  We ate out afterwards and went to M"ichaels to see the spooky decorations.  Sadly, M*ichaels has moved on to Chrsitmas.

Day 2 - Thanh busted her lip and hurt her hand at school.  She's okay, but looks awful.  We took it easy last night, watching a movie and eating popcicles.

Day 3 - Science Museum, baking cookies, birthday party.  We're having a great day. 

These cookie photos do not include her face on purpose.  She's pretty swollen and cut.

Scooping

Thanh scooping out pumpkin seeds: