I received Thanh's evaluation results with relief. M and I felt pretty positive about the results, in general, with a few surprises thrown in. We felt happy that Occupational Therapy could start soon, and that we would get some support for her needs. My response was all about moving forward and feeling hopeful.
Sunday night I had a phone meeting with the Occupational Therapist. It was a very helpful conversation, and she really clarified some things. That conversation, however, lead me to a new stage in understanding that my child has a sensory disorder. I would say that I am in the grieving stage. I feel that is safe to say since I have been walking around crying.
Here's the big thing that got me: Thanh's early life experiences lead her to this disorder. That wasn't news to me. We new that she would be at risk before we even recieved the referral for her adoption. However, the therapist had some specific links to share that really shook me. Thanh is quite delayed in visual-motor skills, which is basically the ability to copy designs, such as a horizontal line. The therapist explained that many children from orphanage care who don't have their nutritional needs met have this type of delay. At that moment, and at many moments since then, I pictured a hungry baby Thanh, whose brain could not develop the way it needed to because she didn't have enough to eat. That is a horrible image to have about your kid. When discussing fine-motor, which is not such a major concern, but needs to be monitored, the therapist talked about the position of her thumb. She talked about how Thanh most likely was an early walker (rather than someone who spent a long time crawling) and how often times kids in survival environments need to learn to walk as early as possible. I know Thanh lived in a survival environment, but again, something about how that is now harming her over 2 years later really got me.
I have been farily matter-of-fact about Thanh's early environment, but now I am sad for her. I wish she could have had more nutritional food to eat, and time to crawl and walk at the right pace, appropriate amounts of holding and rocking, and lots of diferent touch experiences.
On top of my layer of sadness, I feel frustrated that Thanh's teachers, whom I generally trust, are not on board with her diagnosis. I am going to have to work hard to be her advocate.
Occupational therapy starts next Wednesday. We have a confernece with Thanh's teachers on Thursday.